Wiggle Your Big Toe

I'm in training mode for the half-marathon in May and I've been working on increasing my mileage every Saturday when I go out for my 'long' run. I'm still not a very fast runner but I'm trying to be patient and for now I'm focusing on distance rather than speed. Running in the winter doesn't provide optimal conditions by any means either - things like layered clothing, breathing very cold air into your lungs and sidewalks that are treacherous with slush or (even worse) black ice make it very difficult to go fast when your biggest concern is not falling and breaking something.

But after a hellish 6-day work week last week I went out for my run on Saturday evening and despite black ice and Charlotte dying 20 minutes into it, I persevered and ended up running my longest distance yet, a 7.5km run that took me a LONG 53 minutes.

Regardless of the time I've been feeling VERY proud of myself, and this morning I decided to chart my progress to see how I'm doing and this is what my results have produced:

My run on January 1st was my first run (outdoors) in 3 months (which was my recovery time from my surgery), I didn't run the week of January 8 (sick?), did a 4.6km outdoor run on January 15th then, when the weather was nasty, kept it indoors between January 22nd until the 16th where I did a bunch of 5km runs on the treadmill. Took it back outdoors on the 17th where I ran for as long as I could (6.6km, 45 minutes) but seriously overdid it because I ended up with a bad knee (actually felt it start to give out during the run) so when I went out on the weekend I promised myself that I wouldn't increase by more than 10% and while I AIMED at only doing 7.3km, I ended up doing 7.5 which was ok because my knee felt/feels fine.

I bought a neosprene support wrap for my knee on the weekend and I plan on wearing it for my long runs so that I can go the distance and not have to worry about my knee giving out. I'll be wearing it Saturday when I aim for 8.25km, and again for next week when I go for 9km and then the following week when I should (fingers crossed) be up to 10km.

Have I mentioned before that I LOVE running? :)

Posted by Tawny at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Comments

I haven't been blogging on here as frequently as I thought that I would and fortunately, the reason being is not because I haven't been exercising, the opposite is true in fact, I'm back to exercising like a maniac - so much so that when I was talking to a friend earlier she asked me how many times I worked out today and when I said just once, she referred to me as a slacker. A bit of an exaggeration because it's not like I'm doubling up on my work outs ALL the time, but lately, on Tuesdays, I go to Body Pump in the morning and for a run on my lunch hour and there's been a couple of Thursdays where I went to Body Pump on my lunch and for a run after work. It's a big, big relief to be in my obsessive mode again because after my surgery I was worried that I'd gotten myself into a rut that I wouldn't be able to get myself out of.

But the opposite is true and I'm back to running 3-4 times a week and I've increased my speed on the treadmill to where I can run for 20 minutes at 6.3m/hr where before my surgery I was only running at about 5.6m/hr. Granted I could run much longer at that pace but I've been trying to shave some time off my 5km and tonight I managed to trim 90 seconds which isn't a lot but it's still progress and I've convinced myself to be happy with that. I'm going for a run tomorrow (outdoors if the weather is good, indoors if its not) and I'm going for length this time rather than speed and hope to get in at least 45 minutes of non stop running if not longer.

I was more frustrated returning to Body Pump then to the running though because I had to drop my weights considerably and build myself back up. I upped my weights the other week and then again earlier this week I upped them again, and at first I had worried that I had overdone it because after Tuesday's class I was SO sore but Thursday the instructor told me to stick to it - he said he'd keep an eye on me especially during the chest track and the clean and press which were the two areas that I was really struggling and at the end of class he congratulated me for not giving up despite the extra weight. I insisted that I almost didn't make it but he said that my form was great which is further proof that I can handle the weight so I felt great walking out of the class. It didn't hurt either that other than the instructor, I was lifting the most weight in a room full of about 12 women. I need to figure out what weights I was at before my surgery and compare to where I am now - I think in some areas of my upperbody I'm lifting more but not in lower body mostly because I'm doing so much running that I don't want to overwork my lowerbody too much and risk hurting myself.

I also took note of my fitness goals that I had set for myself on the sidebar last year and realized that I had made substantial progress on them, even surpassing one of my goals, which was a weight goal of 150 (I'm now 148). I hesitated when I changed my weight goal because I don't want to get too obsessive with the scale, but I work best when I have a target in mind so I set it at 140lbs. It's only 8lbs, and like last year, I don't care how long it takes me so if takes a year so be it. I have lost almost 3% of my body fat in the past 3-4 months which is exciting (27% down to 24.3%) and my BMI has lowered too. All very exciting stuff, and very rewarding especially when I'm really starting to notice the difference in my shape and when people tell me I've lost weight/look great now, I actually believe them :P.

My main goal is to be a consistent size 8 I've decided and that's still something that needs work cause I am still wearing some size 10 jeans but they're getting loose too, so soon enough I should hopefully be able to walk into a store and grab a size 8 and have it fit. I did buy a couple of tops this week which were a size medium and that's becoming a lot more common for me which is absolutely exciting.

Maybe (just maybe) I'll get to a point where a size 6 will fit. Now who would have ever thunk that?? :)

Posted by Tawny at 8:32 PM | Permalink

I realized today that it's been exactly 3 months to the day since we did the Run for the Cure which was my last run pre-surgery. The start of a new year and the 8 degree temperature was more than enough to motivate me to pull my runners out of my closet, throw on my ball cap and with Charlotte strapped to my arm, hit the pavement for a run through the neighborhood. Tay and I agreed to take it easy as we ran and we definitely didn't break any of our records in the speed or distance category, but we did manage to run for 20 minutes without stopping and covered almost 3km of familiar territory, part of which was on a slight incline uphill (including the very first 2 minutes or so).

I didn't know what to expect when I laced up my runners and I told myself that if I managed 20 minutes I'd be happy. 20 minutes is 20 minutes, and as Tay said when we got home and were unlacing our runners, we got out there again which is the hard part.

While I have been to Body Pump in the past couple of weeks and am planning on going tomorrow, I knew that I couldn't declare myself officially back until I'd been out for a run.

So there you have it...I'm officially back and am I ever glad to be :).

Posted by Tawny at 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments

Tay and I were talking yesterday afternoon and he expressed some concern over the fact that I've not been myself lately and have been somewhat quiet and withdrawn. It's been a contradiction of how I've been presenting myself on my blog - everything I've posted about my surgery has been mostly positive and upbeat and so he's been concerned.

He had a valid point and it got me thinking - lately, I have been painting a pretty positive picture on my blog about my surgery and the whole experience, but the reality of the experience hasn't been as perhaps as flowery as I've depicted. I haven't lied on my blog, or exaggerated, but I have consciously provided only the good stuff, the stuff that I wanted people to hear - stuff that I thought would make them not worry. So for the most part, while the surgery and my recovery has gone as well as to be expected, there are things about it that sucks, and that have caused me to be not quite myself the past couple of weeks.

1) Not eating properly
2) Not being able to exercise
3) Feeling weak and tired all the time (because of 1 & 2)
4) Being cooped up in the house (because of 3)
5) Struggling to stay still and not being on the go constantly (because of 4)
6) Missing my job, my coworkers, the people at the gym, the CITY (because of 4&5)

In theory, none of these things should have had the impact they've had on me because (as Tay said) I've had plenty of time to prepare for what was to be expected following my surgery and, when it comes down to it, my surgery was an elective one - all of this was, in reality, my decision.

But I don't think there's really any way to prepare for something that basically changes your life and everything you're able to do on a day to day basis. I was trying to explain it to Tay and finally I told him to think about what it feels like to have a cold - for a couple of days you're miserable because you're not yourself - you're weak, you're tired, you don't feel like talking or eating or doing much of anything other than vegging in front of the couch. Then I told him to take those feelings and multiply them by say, 8, and that's been the past couple of weeks for me. I miss eating, I miss exercising, I miss having the option to come and go and I really miss being in the city and being part of the downtown bustle. I miss the adrenaline of facing each day's challenges. It hasn't been easy.

It's all worth it though, I know that much, and I know that after it's over and done with, it's not going to seem that bad when I look back on it. It's why I can be so positive on my other blog because I know this to be true. In fact, I still maintain that if I had too, I would do it all over again, but the second time round, I'd be better prepared for what to expect. In the meantime, the sun is finally shining and it's a crisp fall day - Charlotte is charging and I haven't had a chance to get outside with our new camera so I'm going to dress warm and go for a long walk and hopefully, that will be a step in the right direction to feeling more like myself again.

Posted by Tawny at 7:45 AM | Permalink | Comments

I jokingly said to AL yesterday when she was visiting that I felt like I just got back from fat camp - I didn't think the loss of almost 10lbs would make such a difference but when size 10 jeans are loose on me and my arm and wrist is close to the same size as my very petite (5'2") friend then, well I start to see the difference.

Last night after dinner I wasn't feeling quite right - later in the day I was feeling sleepy and took a nap and after dinner, when I was upstairs brushing my teeth I felt absolutely exhausted. When Tay came up to help me attach fresh elastics in my mouth (oh the joy of being married to me ;), we had to stop numerous times because I was feeling woozy and was scared that I was going to pass out. I kept having to stop and sit with my head between my knees and once the elastics were on, I had to go lay down again.

I knew that when I got on the scale this morning that it wasn't going to be good news and it really wasn't - the scale read 148.5. I've been weighing myself consistently every day this week, trying to monitor my intake and make sure I'm eating enough so the new weight reading meant that I had dropped 2lbs from the 150.5 that I was Friday morning.

The interesting (and good thing?) is that I've also been checking my body fat throughout the week - at the beginning of my sudden, fast weight loss, my body fat rose a couple of %s to about 28. Tay and I assumed that it was because my sudden loss was coming from my muscles (damn! All that work in BP! :), but today when I checked, it was hovering just above 26%. So I don't know - is the fact that my body fat dropping now a good sign? Does it mean that I'm no longer losing muscle but am not losing actually fat? Are my muscles safe again?

Posted by Tawny at 8:40 AM | Permalink | Comments

The last days leading up to my surgery were as I had planned them, I didn't do any additional exercise but still did the things I had planned - the run on Saturday as a prequel to Sunday's Run for the Cure, followed by the Run and then Body Pump on Tuesday morning.

It was sad to be running on Saturday knowing that it was one of my last runs for a couple of months, but the Run Sunday morning was a fabulous send off - it was my first time doing an organized run for charity and if I had to guess, I would say the Run for the Cure was probably the best run I could have picked. It's impossible to describe the feeling of being surrounded by 30,000 people running for one cause - to look ahead and behind and seeing a moving, living street of people doing something so selfless was...just indescribable. Our group of 4 quickly seperated but Geraldine and I made sure that we stayed together - I didn't have any times to beat, or any place that I needed to be so I just ran with my girlfriend and we chatted as we went up one side of the street and down the other. We finished the run in 30 minutes 5 seconds which I was perfectly happy with. As I crossed the finish line, it fleetingly crossed my line that this was the last run for many, many days but it was the perfect send off in so many ways.

Body Pump on Tuesday morning was more to let Instructor B know that she wouldn't be seeing me for 6 weeks or so - I tried to take it easy in the class knowing I shouldn't be overdoing it, but as we nailed down each track, I felt something like despair settling in. I'm amazed at just how much exercising has become such an integral part of my life - it was almost a year ago when I first joined the gym near work, when I finally get back to Body Pump it will be my one year anniversary - if I look back at the changes in my body because of this one class, I'm constantly impressed by just how much stronger and leaner I have become. I've never gotten results from any other class like that one, and pairing it with running seems to be the perfect balance for me. Instructor B made me promise to take it easy, and when I waved my hand and dismissed her concern, she grabbed my arm and said that she was serious - that if I showed up in her class before the six weeks were up, she was going to kick me out. And then she said she knew what I was like, because I was just like her and that was why she was being so firm with me :). I guess she's right :).

It's now been five days since the surgery and the most exercise I've been getting is going up and down the stairs at home. It's almost frightening the changes in my energy levels and how much weight I've lost - I weighed in at 159 the morning of my surgery and yesterday morning the scale read 150.5 - 8.5lbs in 4 days is a little too quickly. Sunday morning was the worst morning of all - Saturday I had been consuming mostly juice and broth and I could feel how weak I was when I woke the next morning and found myself tiring very easily. I've been a little more proactive with my diet since then, making sure to drink smoothies and meal replacement shakes that have all the nutrients that I need. This morning when I weighed myself I was at 150lbs which is better because it means the rate of loss has slowed down some - but it's funny (or scary?), I never expected to crash land into my weight loss goal in quite the manner that I have. I'm trying to be up and moving around as much as I can but even little things like changing the bedding this morning was enough to make me pause and sit on the bed for a while. I never, ever really understood the delicate balance between eating and doing until now - when I think about how I felt sitting on the bed this morning catching my breath and then thinking that it was only a month ago that I could run for 45 minutes and THEN do an hour in Body Pump, it makes me shake my head.

This part, these limitations to my physical self, the changes to the strength and ability that I have has been the hardest to deal with...more so then the surgery itself, the not being able to talk, and all the swelling. It really does suck...but at the same time, it's taught me to appreciate my strengths and abilities...and to not take them for granted.

Posted by Tawny at 8:19 AM | Permalink | Comments

With all my various pre-surgery appointments and late meetings at work, not to mention a number of work deadlines that I'm racing to meet, working out has taken a bit of a back seat in the past week as I do my best to wrap things up before my surgery next week.

In the past week, I've managed to get in the following workouts:

Friday: 5km Run (w Tay)
Monday: 5km Run (w Tay)
Tuesday: Body Pump
Thursday: 7km Run (w AL)

I probaby shouldn't be too hard on myself for my lack of exercise considering the above schedule is still more than most people do in a typical week and I know that I would have been out last Saturday except we spent the day in Niagara doing a wine 'tour' with some friends. Yesterdays run with AL was a bit of a juggle - I was in to work at 7am (damn staff shortage!) until 7pm and AL had to be at work at 1, so she came down at 9:30 when my replacement staff showed up and we went for a run in the drizzly cold weather - despite the rain it was a good run (our first run since she got back) and a far run too - we ran from John Street along Queen all the way to Dufferin and then up Dufferin to Dundas where we split off and AL continued on home and I went down Dundas until I reached work. It worked out to about 7.6km total and just over an hour with us only stopping really once at our breakaway point (we chatted a good 10 minutes or more), and I quite enjoyed the solo latter half of my run as I ran through Chinatown, swerving around fruit stands, shuffling old people and men with dollies filled with vegetables.

I've worn my heart rate monitor on my last three runs and it's been a bit frustrating to slow down my pace to keep my heart rate in it's target zone - it's annoying when it starts to beep and annoying to I'm sure to my running partners because I slow my pace down to accomodate my heart rate, but I think it's worth it in the long run because I'd rather train for a marathon and focus on my endurance rather than my speed - and at a steady, regular heart rate, I'll be more physically prepared to go for longer periods of time rather than just getting out there and going fast.

At my surgical appointment this morning I asked about exercising after my surgery and was told no running for at least 2 months and no Body Pump or yoga for 6 weeks. I could almost feel my muscles start to atrophy as she said that, and I felt an almost despair as I thought about hanging up my runners for the next 8 weeks. Tay said after that appointment that I'm going to have to get my diet bang on after my surgery so I don't start losing muscle mass and I agree - I've worked too hard in BP to waste away - and it's bad enough that 2 months of not running is going to set me back considerably and will mean that I might not have enough time to train for the marathon in May (I may have to settle for a half in May and then do the Toronto Marathon in October). Regardless, it's going to be a long 6-8 weeks without exercise and in giving up what I've been loving recently, I will have to rediscover all the non-physical things that I loved before working out became such a priority in my life like reading reading, knitting and computer games - I guess it's back to the land of Sims I go :).

So with time running out and running on a very short supply of energy this week, I need to figure out my last few workouts before my surgery next week. I'd like to get a run in tomorrow and then the CIBC Run for the Cure on Sunday will be my last run I think (still need $35 in pledges to earn the fancy silver and pink shoulder bag that matches my ipod AND my runners, and last minute generous souls can still pledge me here) - and then I'll probaby go to Body Pump Tuesday morning and that will be it :(.

Posted by Tawny at 9:53 PM | Permalink | Comments